"Embracing Authenticity: Breaking Free from the People-Pleasing Cycle"

27/11/2023
"Live for yourself, not for the approval of others."
"Live for yourself, not for the approval of others."

Hey people-pleasers, don't just live for others!

There are people who are particularly sensitive to external emotions.

They absorb all the energy around them like a sponge. Mixed in with that are expectations, judgments, demands... sometimes making them tired and stressed.

These can come from family pressures, peer expectations, or sometimes just vague societal pressures...

All these factors combine, causing them to twist themselves, living according to the script that others have written.

Then, they become "people-pleasers".

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"People-pleasers" are people who sacrifice themselves to meet external standards, ready to fulfill every need just to please others.

They are people who live in fear. They worry about what others think of them, whether they are accepted, loved, whether they disappoint someone, and many other similar concerns.

As a result, they often suffer but endure, and may not even think that they have other choices. Or they hold onto a few sentences from someone, even blaming themselves: "Why don't they do the same for me as I have done for them?"

But if they live for others only, then who will live for themselves?

If they don't live for themselves, who can bear their joys and sorrows, their pleasures and pains?

I think the only way out for people-pleasers is to realize one truth: choosing to live for oneself is not selfish.

It's just allowing oneself to listen to one's own emotions, express one's own opinions, and act according to one's own desires. In other words, it means daring to live according to one's true self.

Set principles, boundaries, and standards for that true self. Learn to say "no" when you really don't want to, and realize that no one can please everyone.

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Think about it:

How much of the pressures you are carrying are truly voluntary, and how much comes from others? If you weren't influenced by others, how would you want to live?

Keep trying. But not for recognition, but for self-pride.

Keep giving. But not expecting anything in return, but to create value.

Keep forgiving. But not for praise, but for peace of mind.

The difference lies in doing these things for oneself, not for others.

That voluntary act may not free you from fear, but it will liberate you from the expectations of being thanked, recognized, loved, the "rewards" of emotions you expect from others.

So, prioritizing oneself doesn't mean abandoning and turning one's back on the world or putting oneself above others.

Because only when you live true to your values, become the best version of yourself, can you make the world around you better, and create more positive influence with the best things you can offer.

...

I always believe that one of the most difficult challenges of being human is finding a balance between one's own needs and the needs of society. Tipping too much in one direction will create an imbalance in life.

But if we can find a common ground between these two values, it will be an ideal path to take: a life that satisfies (good for oneself) and is useful (good for others).

When caught in conflicts, such a solution is not easy to find. It requires deliberation, negotiation, self-balance, and rearranging priorities at different times.

And for "people-pleasers", those who always comply with the wishes of others, that journey often starts with the question:

"What do I truly want?